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January 31, 2012

Jennifer Aniston must have a new movie out. I only say this be¬cause she is on the cover of yet another magazine, naked (or one spaghetti strap away from being so). I’m not judging her on this, just pointing out her unique superpowers.

A thyroid disease epidemic

January 31, 2012

We are having a thyroid disease epidemic and the experts can’t figure out why.
In the last two years, more people than ever are coming into my clinic and telling me that they, and even their pets, have thyroid disease.
Your thyroid regulates your metabolism so that you don’t get fat for no reason. It uses iodine to manufacture thyroid hor¬mones that your entire body depends on. It cleans your blood. It works with your pituitary gland to regulate blood pressure, fluids, temperature and emotions.

Stop the idiocy: demand legislative restraint

January 28, 2012

BY JAMIE HENNEMAN
S-E Staff Reporter

The following is article 20 in the Citizen Jane series featured in the Statesman-Examiner.

Here are a few interesting statistics for you: Washington State, a state since 1889, used to have all its laws in one book. The first state Legislature created laws to address state expenditure, state prisons, juvenile detention, prison industries, schools and taxes. All of this neatly fit into a portable, lightweight tome.

Sophie's Choice: It’s a marriage, not a ‘grab-fest’

January 25, 2012

Since when did weddings become akin to highway robbery? Seriously, it’s like instead of a dashing, dangerous rogue in pantaloons and a pistol demanding your ducats, it’s a bride with a serious case of the furies and a fondness for taffeta “lovingly” guilt tripping you into the forking over of material excess. See that guy nervously keeping watch behind her in the coat and tails with the slightly dopey grin on his face? That’s the groom.

JoPa as a classic Greek tragedy

January 25, 2012

‘Success without honor is an unseasoned dish…it will satisfy your hunger, but it won’t taste good.’

--Joe Paterno (1973)

Joe Paterno spent the final days of a headline inspiring life battling cancer and his critics.
His rich life, without the aid and comfort of a Bucket List (he was a coach, plain and simple—and for a lifetime), has of late become the grist for criticism and more than a little food for thought.
Yes, success without honor can be an unseasoned dish…now where did I misplace that honor and good judgment?

Sophie's Choice: #&$! happens

January 18, 2012

I am #@&!
I realize that this is a community newspaper, so put this column down and go watch wholesome prime time television, kiddies, but I can think of no other phrase to voice my displeasure for having stepped in dog feces that some insensitive pet owner left in front of my gate AGAIN!
Go ahead, laugh. It was funny the first time. The fifth time has lost its charm.
True, the word I wanted to use here is an inaccurate figurative expression of the bodily function that actually occurred, but it is less volatile than other four-letter words we can all think of at the moment.

Outdoor Sportsman: A Time for Reflection

December 28, 2011

By Garnet Wilson & Dennis L. Clay

It happens every year at about this time. The old year continues the unavoidable countdown to a brand, spankin’ new year. It is a respectable exercise to spend a few moments to reflect on the past 52 weeks and the events that happened during the past year.
Giving back
It is our tradition to begin each year with a column about giving back to the Great Outdoors. Many times people only think about taking from the outdoors, but there is much a person or family can accomplish that will benefit the outdoor areas we visit. Expect this column next week.

Sophie's Choice: Bite your tongue

December 21, 2011

There are times in life where words fail us. A situation arises where we wish we really did have a Hollywood scriptwriter in our back pocket to save us from the ensuing social awkwardness or to offer a succinct token of encouragement or consolation to someone in need.

Speaking of Sports: It's show time for the "Pirate of the Palouse"

December 15, 2011

Picture a more manly (without the mascara and the effeminate affectation) Captain Jack Sparrow drawing up passing plays on the deck of the Good Ship Coug It.
Scurvy Husky Dogs! Air Raid Offense indeed. Stretch the field, sideline to sideline…is that Black Beard or Henry Morgan?

Sophie's Choice: How to hunt men

November 9, 2011

“There are no men around here.”
That is a complaint I hear from rural single ladies quite often. It’s not that there has been a mass disappearance of men-folk via space aliens or something akin to a gender selective Roanoke Colony. Allow me to translate: If they are not already married, or barricaded in the closet, there are no single, desirable, disease free men to date in this area.”
I know that is what that statement means because I used to be of the same mindset. Ah, me of narrow vision.

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