Itâ€™s Groundhog Day and Donald Trump endorses Mitt â€śI Never Worry About The Poorâ€ť any day in the USofA Romney.
Iâ€™m so excitedâ€¦I think itâ€™s time for a nap.
Let me write thisâ€¦veryâ€¦slowlyâ€¦forâ€¦youâ€¦Punxsutawney Phil has absolutely no credibilityâ€”shadow or no shadow. Itâ€™s kind of like the Three Stooges (maybe four) who are running for the Republican nomination for President.
For the record, some overstuffed rodent in Pennsylvania with a serious overbite came out of his HogManCave on Feb. 2, saw the shadow of his obese carcass and proclaimed, â€śItâ€™s never too late for a New Yearâ€™s resolutionâ€”more Pilates or maybe Weight-watchersâ€¦Iâ€™ve got to do something. I canâ€™t see my feet anymore.â€ť
Yes, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, which, according to some goofball legend, means weâ€™re all in store for six more weeks of crummy winter weather.
Just so you know, Phil and his inner circle of sycophants have a lot of competition. So there is always a second opinion.
Yes, I do have one. I always have an opinion.
Locally, yours truly trudged to a remote north Stevens County farm on the morning of Feb. 2 and watched as several hogs (or oversized pigs) cast nary a shadow anywhere.
I was thinking pork tenderloins and pulled pork sandwiches, not whether or not weâ€™re going to have six more weeks of winter weather.
Yes, we are a local newspaper. The mantra is localâ€¦localâ€¦local. While the legend that is Phil and the sponsoring Punxsutawney Groundhog Club apparently cast a long shadow over the minions in Pennsylvania the morning of Feb. 2, there was no such shadow witnessed in northern Stevens County.
While the announcement from central Pennsylvania was met with derision and more than a few booâ€™s, nary a discouraging word was heard on my foray to the hog grounds in rural northeast Washington.
Whatâ€™s Phil know, anyway? Donâ€™t tell me that Spring Fever will have to wait. Winter may be mild here in the north country, but itâ€™s still winter. We need optimism, not some non-verbal rodentâ€™s wild guess.
If I want wild guesses, Iâ€™ll turn on the six-oâ€™clock news and watch the bubble-headed bleach blonde tell me about her occluded front and how she runs with the jet stream.
Of course there will be six more weeks of winter. Do the math. Even a devout non-numbers guy like me can tell you that there are six weeks between Feb. 2 and the official first day of spring (March 21).
Iâ€™ll go with our local Bob The Hogâ€™s prediction. No shadowâ€”no problem. And no crowds. Better yet.
Now whoâ€™s got that email for PETA. I think itâ€™s time they get involved with this piece of funky folklore and dragging a furry critter out of a hole ever Feb. 2.