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Sophie's Choice: The Mythical Beast of Wedlock

January 28, 2014

Marriage has always been like my own personal Sasquatch. Do I really believe in it? I’ve fluctuated between “Yes, I’ve seen the proof!” to “No, if you examine the footage closer you will see that’s actually a dissatisfied couple in a gorilla suit.” Other times, I have simply been awed and inspired by other’s commitment to the Love Kool-Aid and their fondness and respect for their partner as they take the ride called life together.
Let’s discuss this mysterious state known as matrimony, which has been the butt of many a joke and the institution that many aspire to. Don’t worry, I’m not about to play Dr. Phil and try to dish out advice like those little bags of rice (do they still do that at weddings? I haven’t seen it yet at one wedding I’ve been to, and I keep bringing the Soy Sauce). I’m not a marriage counselor; I’m just your average woman/child trying to figure out what wedlock means to me.
My mom’s little sister and her husband celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary last year; unfortunately, I wasn’t able to make the celebration, but their relationship has always been the type that the rest of us unmarried or almost-married folk long to aspire to. Their son, my cousin Cameron, married his beautiful wife Megan last summer, and par for the course during weddings, you start to think about your own approach to relationships and marriage.
There are a lot of books, gurus, columnists, etc., that claim to know the secret of a successful marriage. I guess I don’t like to think of relationships in terms of “successes” because I associate success with running a marathon or beating the ever-loving snot out of someone in a game of Trivial Pursuit or Apples to Apples.
Much of what I learned about adult relationships in the romantic arena can safely be categorized in the well-meant, but sometimes limited spectrum of “How to Screw it up” kind of counsel. It is what it is, and I’m not pointing fingers. If anything, it gives me the opportunity to create my template for a loving, supportive relationship with my fiancé that will lead into rewarding marriage.
John Steinbeck said, “A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.”
I have no idea what the future holds, but I’m going to get in the car and hit the road with my best friend. Maybe we should all try to be the best we can be and enjoy the journey.
Tally-ho!

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