When teenagers attack

February 22, 2012

So, what do you do when your kid takes a chunk out of his father’s finger, then kicks him in the crotch because Pa had the audacity to take Junior’s iPod as punishment for disobedience?
Why, you jump pell-mell into the fray and punch your husband in the face because “he’s being too strict.”
Or at least that’s the reasoning for a 44-year old mother who was arrested after helping her 13-year-old son assault his dad.
Heel boy! Down girl! And no, I’m not talking to the family dogs.
An old story I found online, plucked from the archives of the Seattle Times (I just couldn’t help but write my own commentary) reported that the impatient teenager wanted to download songs to his iPod, but didn’t want to wait for his father to finish on the computer. According to the Kitsap County Sheriff’s Office, the 46-year-old father refused to let his son use the computer until he was finished, but when he left the room for a moment, his son took over the computer and began downloading songs.
When dad took the iPod away as punishment for his kid’s seeming inability to take turns, the boy attacked him, biting a chunk of skin off his finger and kicking him in the groin several times.
I can see the headline now (in big, bold letters with an exclamation mark): When Teenagers Attack!
So, wanting to present a united front in parental discipline, mother leapt to the “rescue” of her offspring and punched her husband several times in the face, took their son and left, according to sheriff’s deputies.
The woman told deputies that she thought her husband of 20-years was too strict with their son and shouldn’t have taken away the iPod, police said. Mom went on a taxpayer paid vacation to Kitsap County Jail for fourth-degree assault, and the teen’s involvement in the fight was reported to prosecutors with the Kitsap County Juvenile Division.
Granted, I know nothing about this family, and I haven’t heard it straight from the mouth of those involved (I like my flesh attached to my bones, thanks). Maybe there’s a history of verbal or physical abuse here, or perhaps a mental disorder (not to mention a killer overbite and a kick best left for field goals), but there’s a lesson here for everybody.
Don’t call the cops after you assault someone. Wifezilla and Hell Spawn could have gotten away Scott free!
Okay, just kidding.